tv The Daily Show Comedy Central February 1, 2018 1:35am-2:05am PST
ith you. thing is, most people are so boring that if you just put on a mask or do anything slightly weird, they think you're a genius. so that's what i did, and now i'm rich, and i love it. i love it so much. i sleep really well at night. i got 13 hours of sleep last night. - i'm so jealous of you, it's insane. come on, matt, let's get out of here. [lively techno music playing] - oh, shit, i thought we were going that way. [bleep] you. - i have a lot of sex too. - ♪ and i don't give a damn about a greenback a-dollar ♪ ♪ spend it fast as i can ♪ for a whaling song and a good guitar ♪ ♪ the only things that i understand, poor boy ♪ ♪ the only things that i understand ♪ - super fracking was unanimously approved by congress today, as advanced sales for next year's protestfest were announced. - outdoor music festivals are my life! - ♪ travel where you will and grow to be a man ♪ ♪ and sing what must be sung, poor boy ♪ ♪ sing what must be sung
- feels pretty good, huh? - yeah, you really are an artist. i'm sorry i underestimated you. - ah, it's okay, buddy. oh, shit, it's the cops! i was always so bad at not getting caught. - ♪ spend it fast as i can ♪ for a whaling song and a good guitar ♪ ♪ the only things that i understand, poor boy ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central from comedy central world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show. thank you so much for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight political analyst angela rye is joining us, everyone.
(applause) but first up, first up, super bowl 52 is just days away. and it is going to go down in minnesota. the last of 10,000 crazy people who choose to live like this. brutal subzero temperatures, public gatherings, what could possibly go wrong. >> much of the union is battling the flu. the worst case in nearly a decade. >> fortune reports minnesota is seeing lots of flu cases ahead of super bowl 526789 health officials say flu activity in the state is wide spread. patriots cornerback mall cum butler was hospitalled for flu like sm toims, expected to recover in time for the big game. experts are telling the 65,000 fans expected at the stadium to please wash your hands, use hand sanitizer. >> trevor: a flu epidemic, oh no. football might be dangerous now. i don't know about you guys but i would love to see a super bowl where all the players are scared of getting the flu. lick just them not wanting to tackle each other, just stand there, we'll dot thing. i'm not going to hold you, you
know what is going to happen, before he gets 8 ball, purel, purel, you can catch t you know, you can catch the flu. that is what i mean catch. yeah, i feel like the flu is the only thing that could beat the patriots. although not really, because the patriots coach is actually the mucinex booger, they win everything. let's get to the big event on everyone's mind. trump's impeachment. no, i'm joking am i'm talking about last night's state of the union address. totally objective reviews are in and it was officially the most bestest. >> i thought it was probably by far the best speech he ever gave. >> what stood out to you? you gave the president's speech an a plus, right? >> i did. >> i thought the inspiring poem tone, the way he delivered the speech from start to finish. >> i think the big story is america, america, america, this morning. do you know how many times america was used in that speech? >> how many times. >> 82 times.
>> that's fantastic. >> trevor: that's fantastic. they say that as if america gets a royalty check every time someone says her name. they say it like obama never referred to america by name. like he was like the united states of, you know, who i am talking about and by the way, if you get mad when people say donald trump is like a little child, then maybe you shouldn't grade his speeches on a kindergarten chalk board. these people are like my president is not a child. that's why i am giving his speech a gold star! and a rocket ship because he's a cool cat. but the group of people who truly loved last night's speech the most all coincidentally had the last name trump. >> eric trump who was in the building at the time with the family at the time joins us. he is executive vice president of the donald trump organization. according to reports you are the son of donald trump, the president of the united states. >> last i checked. >> you are. >> trevor: wait, what? there is some question úf eric
trump that the president is his dad. i wonder if he goes on fox & friends because if they say he is trump's son then trump will have to believe it well, if fox said it, it must be true, i guess. anyway, the trump family loves the speech. specifically how moving it was, literally. >> i was so proud of him last night. we must v by the way, my legs got the greatest workout. we must have stood a hundred times for applause. >> i got a legworkout just standing up every five seconds bus he hit every point. >> i think my hands are bruised as well for the amount of clapping we all did. >> trevor: wow. his hands were soar f touching each other-- sore from touching each other, that is how you know someone grew up rich. those kids probably had their own clapping tbut letter. i like what happened there, jeebs, show my enthusiasm, show it some more. >> i will be honest with you. i don't get this emphasis on standing and clapping. it was so amazing. we clapped for all the things we wanted to hear. republicans make it sound like they didn't have a choice to
stand you and clap. like it was their first boner. oh my god, what's happening to my hand. why is my body doing this. but it's not surprising that the republicans stood up 100 times. trump said a hundred things that they wanted to hear. he boasted about tax cuts. he threatened iran and north korea and outlined his new immigration plan which is that america should only welcome people whose name sounds like ikea furniture, like of course republicans would like that. but republicans weren't just happy about what trump said. they were also mad about democrats being unhappy. >> the democrats show their true colors, and sit there like they are next up to go into see the orthodontist. >> the democrats sitting on their hands, often looking like fools. >> they wouldn't stand for anything that would make the president look good. >> well, democrats refused to stand during a number of key topics of the president's address including tax reform, the daca deal and even god. >> ooh. the democrats didn't stand for god. those devil worshiping diqs.
come on-- dick, come on, just because trump says god in the middle of the sentence doesn't mean that sentence is now endorsed by god. like god help me, i'm going to grab that pussy. >> praise the lord, i think? and don't get me wrong t is true that democrats didn't love trump's speech. and they weren't hide tsmght i mean just look at their faces. look at that. like look over there, like that is the face you make when you find out what is actually if a hot dog. you know? like nancy pelosi's face, that is the face you make when your mom starts dating your ex-boyfriend. yeah. and look, complain being democrats not standing is just a talking point that republicans invented to make democrats look like sour pusss without don't want to reach across the aisle. because the troop is when trump offered policies republican its weren't excited about they didn't stand up either. he talked about paid maternity leave and trimming the number of dreamers who received citizenship and the republicans stayed hard harder than colin
kaepernick deur the anthem. people stand if they like something and they don't if they don't. this is not about who stood or who sat. every state of the union has one side appreciating what their side said. if you want to celebrate trump, celebrate trump. i understand why conservatives loved last night's speech. because regardless of what he was saying, yesterday trump's reading was really good. (laughter) yeah, like you guys can hate, but i was so proud of him. especially when you look at how far he has come. >> let us rethink old a 1u6r7 shuns and open our hearts and minds to possible and possibilities, prevent iran from developing an internet -- this is so totally spornt. an intercontinental ballistic missile. >> through their lives, and oh their lives. >> our hope is a word, and world
to measure and other mesh-- they sacrifice every day for the furniture, future of their children. >> now that is an a plus. >> now that is an a plus. we'll be right back. go. yes! go. yes! nice play. still buffering. mine too. what happened? hey, joy, you should let your new pals know that according to a leading independent study, the most awarded network is now best in streaming. i think you just did. you both can get a much better view of the game on the iphone on verizon unlimited. thanks. thanks. hey, thomas, when's your flight? (gasps) someone stole my watch. hey! (vo) unlimited is only as good as the network it's on. so get the best unlimited on the most awarded network. and right now, when you buy iphone 8, you'll get one on us.
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fz. >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. last night as every year the state of the union address was followed by a rebuttal from the opposition party. this year that job fell to congressman joe kennedy. who delivered the democrat speech from a vow kaitional school auto shop. the background wasn't enough to distract people from something that was even more distracting. >> massachusetts congressman joe scen de 3 delivered the democratic response to the president's state of the union address but this morning people are talking about his lips. >> kennedy's glistening lips proved to be a distraction for many that watched this speech. it became a hot topic on social media going viral. maybe they were just chapped. >> trevor: okay, okay, i know everyone is freaking out about his lips and sure is it funny, yeah, yeah. but facts matter, people.
facts matter. this man does not have chapped lips. because this man does not have lips. (laughter) you can't shit on someone for wearing too much nail polish when they don't have hands. that's the story today's papers should have read. man overcomes lipless bished mouth to become handsome u.s. congressman. that's the story. (applause) no lips. now it wasn't just joe kennedy. everyone seemed to have a rebuttal to the state of the union. bern yea sanders, jill stein, hollywood activists. everyone got to have their say which is why we here at the daily show are pleased to turn now to our very own roy wood, jr. for this year's state of the black shit address. >> good evening, black people.
people of color, and rachel dolezal. speaking to you tonight from harlem in new york city. and not the gentrified part where the white people have taken over with muffin shops, i'm in a church basement at 453rd street where it is blacker than a wu tang family reunion. and tonight, tonight black people, we're here to answer one question. where we is? let's be honest. being black in america in 2018 is a struggle. for the first time in awhile a white man is in charge. now we've had while presidents before. but but this dude is on another level. he messing with black reporters, black congressman, football players, rappers, all this guy does is come after black people. he like sickle cell that is good at golf. there is a silver lining though. a silver lining for black people. unemployment is at an all-time low, a trend started under our
only black president. (applause) now donald trump has the awe dassity to take credit for lowering the black unemployment rate but this is the same man who fought only rosa, that was half of his black staff. now despite the obstacles facing our people, i assure you the state of the black shit is strong. and my beautiful home state of alabama black women turned a red state blue and kept roy moore's creepy ass out of the senate and-- (applause) we say thank you. the me too movment you started has taken down more perverts than all 37 seasons of special victims unit. (applause)
tontd we also celebrate black-- recent achievements in technology, most notably the shiny shade dloing death star that is black twitter. black twitter single handedly destroyed m march m for selling a monkey hoodie. you should fear jesse jackson. now they fear a retweet from any in a durag and that's good. but remember, but remember with great durags come great responsibilities. that is why we're counting on you black twitter to continue the innovations in the field of slang. never have black slang been appropriated so quickly. the other day i heard two middle-aged quite dude calling each other thots. that word is gone. push forward, black twitter and create new words, really black-ass wordses like cocochangeo, i'm just spit balling, i don't know what that means, y'all figure it out. that finally brings me to the
future of black shit. the outlook my friends is bright. the oscars are looking blacker than ever. black panther is setting box office records for the first time in african-american woman will be speed skating they white olim-- winter olympics. and in 2018, there are over 400 black women running for public office. (applause) the black future is so promising oh my god i need some cocobutter. i got to get ready. got to get ready for all this blackness. so black sphens, you asked where we is. the answer is on our way to a place where the state of black shit is strong are than ever, god bless black people, god bless gayle king and god bless season two of atlanta. thank you. (applause). >> trevor: we'll be right
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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is a political commentator who served as the executive director and general counsel to the congressional black caucus. she is now an executive producer and host of three specials for bet. the first in a series angela rye state of the union aired tonight. please welcome angela rye. (applause) welcome to the show. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: you have a long list of credentials because are you doing many, many, many things. but some people first came to know you from an infamous moment where you were on cnn speaking during i think it was the conventions. we actually have that clip here. >> so she is a change maker,
yes, change for the worse. >> what about the other things that he mentioned, her helping with school and adoptive parents. >> that is great, donald trump has done great things in his private time too for veterans, all across his foundation. he has done great thing toos. (applause) >> just so you know i'm going to get you back for, that i don't know how yet. >> trevor: are you going to give me back. i was giving you props, that is an amazing moment. >> there will be something you do, roll your eyes t is contagious. >> trevor: i think that is an amazing moment. i lot of people like that in that moment, i feel like you were expressing how people were feeling. that is often something that a pundit can't do or couldn't do before donald trump, everyone had to act like everything was normal. do you find it difficult to do that as a pundit. did you get to a point where you went guise thrk is not normal thsm is not the world we should be livering in. >> don't you file like most times now when we are respond being donald trump we start with, this is not normal. i feel like we could be a whole package,. >> trevor: this is not not normal. >> you could run this is not
normal clips there is probably a ga gallon, if i don't say t i'm probably thinking it. normalizing the crazy, the bigotry, the xenophobe yarks normalizing the racism, anita hill got in trouble for calling donald trump the obvious, he's racist. i don't know what else you need to hear. i hopefully they juster don't go to a black church and don't flow that it is okay to amen. but he is, there is a racism problem in the white house. so to me it's just like i think it's important for us to call it what it is. because if you don't, that's how things get deadly. like all joke as side. >> trevor: when you work things-- (applause) when you are working with these other pundits i have always been intrigued-- intrigued by the people who come on and seem to defend donald trump no matter what it is that he does. i have seen them contort and take, you know, you know, points of views that are completely at ends with each other. how do you, like when the cameras go off, what do you say to these people?
>> are you serious? like there was one moment, and this one, i think was probably even worse than the eye roll, the elongated eye roll. i was on a show and-- i can't even remember what the topic was. but there was another commentator at the time who said something and my response, like, i was like are you fing kidding me, dude. >> trevor: on tv. >> i didn't say the f word but i literally say fing. are you fing kidding me, dude. and it was a headline. but seriously you cannot possibly defend it i think it was on the special-- it is like you are a woman who worked on these issues on your campus. how can you seriously defend this. like you can at least call it into question. >> trevor: is that your job as a pundit, are people supposed to just come on and take a position like do you them you, angela, your job is to be against trump and the other person job to be for trump or analyzing a situation. >> i wish they would tell me what i am supposed to be doing. that would not work well. because i-- i i take it very seriously.
my name means bringer of truth and i think inherently in me we have to tell people the truth. i take being on television, being on any platform as an awesome responsibility. and if our obligation is telling people what is really going on. >> trevor: let's talk about the bet special that aired tonight. >> yes. >> trevor: you had max even waters on, is it a rebuttal to the state of the union? >> and it is amazing. it was amazing. so congresswoman waters who i call queen max even, she took down donald trump in so many wonderful ways. and it's ardful. so she does like a-- she did a five minute rebuttal for the show. >> trevor: right. >> and it's just fantastic. >> trevor: let me you can this. the bet elements make it particularly interesting. some people have said i'm glad it is on bet because i want something that is specifically for black people, i mean we made the joke on the show today, because there are certain people who have that feeling. do you feel like there should be a separate political dises course for black people in america or is that going contrary to what other people are saying and that is everyone should be included in all
politics. >> i think that everyone is included in all politics whether they like it or not. and i also think it's perfectly okay to have platforms that are designed for targeted audiences. >> trevor: right. >> i think to me that is truly what democracy looks like. i think if the democrats were smart there would be a black party like there was a tea party established. there would be an asian and pacific islander, a latino party. if it is really a big party you should give people spaces to add flavor, add opinion, add policy, prescriptions and priority to the discourse. if are you not, i don't know how big ever a tent you really are. >> trevor: that is interesting. so you would have them under the tented of the democratic party, so there will be the black party in the democratic party. >> why not. i will give you another example. i used the tea party as an example but in high school i started a black student union. the administration was made, they thought it was di vicive because there was a mults cultural. we started that and then there was an aapi complub, and latino club and everybody went to all of those different clubs. they provided opportunities to learn, what is wrong with that.
like i think that's great thravment is not di vicive, that is a way to educate people, to show people where our similarities really lie and how we can work to fight together that is what we should be doing right now. >> trevor: right. you have an interesting message that ties into that, and that is work woke. like a a lot of people go hashtg stay woke, and yours is work woke what is working woke mean. >> i think that it doesn't matter any more if you are woke. like if you say woke, okay, so you are alert, are you well-read, it means you are following what is going on. what do you do after you read? what do you do after you know all, right, and you can say you are truly done shus. how are you putting what you know into action. so it me like as, i'm a religious person. so space without work is dead space sto me. the only way to truly demonstrate your space, that you want to make a difference is to act upon that. so that is what it is really about. >> trevor: hashtag work woke. thanks for being on the show. >> you want to do it. >> trevor: i'm going do it right now. angela prime time specials will
air on bet throughout the year. tune in to her weekly podcast on one with angela rye. angela rye, everybody. we'll be right back. plawtion hey allergy muddlers. are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool? try zyrtec®. it's starts working hard at hour one. and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®.